Thursday, 09 April 2009
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WWYD?
Help me out with this hypothetical situation:
B is a widely hate coworker. As luck would have it, you get assigned to work with B for several weeks. As you spend more time together, you get to know B on a more personal level and realize that B is actually not that bad. The two of you even become friends outside of work. Weeks press on and the project grows more intense. Slowly you start noticing B's flaws and bad habits. Eventually you realize that your other coworkers were right about B. Especially B's malicious need to document all interactions with one-sided summary emails (important later). Any benefit of the doubt you had given B before is cast in the wind when you realize that B is truly selfish, cut-throat, arrogant and judgmental. Then B commits a work related offense directly against you. As a result, you draw back and detach from her personally and limit your interactions to work purposes only. B then sends you an email noting the tension, feigning ignorance and asking to meet for coffee. Before you can even reply, a "higher up" calls you in and asks for an explanation for the tension between you and B. You are vague but mention B's offense, which the "higher up" takes your side on. In fact, the "higher up" reveals that she is aware of the offense and has spoken with B about the importance of respect and team work. Now B's email makes sense and appears completely disingenuous. You actually wonder if B blind cc:ed the "higher up" to show a supposed effort to resolve the issue. You have no problems with continuing to work with B professionally but have no interest in being B's friend. What do you do?
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Comments (18)
simple: tell her bitch ass to back the fuck off, and if she needs you for business - you and her can work through emails!
(i secretly do NOT work in HR)
@crackdjkat - i hear you. i guess no one else cares?
just tell B you're busy when she wants to meet outside of work. During work you need to be professional but it doesn't mean you have to like who you work with.
I know office politics can't be eliminated but you can keep it at bay by not hanging out with nosy coworkers outside of work. Telling B you are busy should suffice. You owe B no additional explanations that dumb ass bitch!?!?!?!?!
i'd say you're handling it pretty well just keep doing what you're doin. gl
work is work, life is life.
"Be civil to all, sociable to many, familiar with few, friend to one, enemy to none." -Benjamin Franklin.
I think that pretty much summarizes what I want to say.
I kept reading "B" as "Bitch" throughout the post.
punch her! punch her! punch her!
@msgiddy108 @XXKimPossibleXX - @fangstar - @jai_ko - @PetiteMandoo - thanks for the support guys! i think i am just going to keep blowing her off and keep everything strictly business. even though it's kind of passive aggressive. i'm a confrontational person though so i don't think it would be appropriate for us to "talk it out" like she wants.
Keep it professional for work sake and ignore the personal overtures. I agree with jai_ko...I kept reading B as BITCH in your post.
wow that's crazy, i agree with a few other posters, just keep doing what you are doing, i know you are mad and fusterated but there is nothing you can do without looking bad... well that's how i feel, maybe there is something you can do... but it's only for a few weeks right? ^_^
http://pan-pullipism.marlito.com/?fromuid=409 ←welcome
@sandelion23 - i think that is a good approach. office politics blows!
@sandelion23 - oops... i was responding to your reply on everyone else's comments.
@sandelion23 - I think that's a good idea. You don't know what she could tell the "higher ups". (BTW, I've had a few of those "hypothetical" situations at work... it sucks. sorry!)
Help B.
Help the person in maybe talking to B in a non-work related environment.
You cant just become close to someone and then pull back all of a sudden thinking that the person wont notice.
Instead talk to B about some of these things that you are feeling instead of just keeping it under wraps.
Do it in a tactful way.
@tudos - when we were close, i actually did talk to her about some of the things she did that angered other people at work, namely her habit of sending emails in multitude about the same topics. She revealed to me that she did it on purpose because 1. she wanted to bombard people who were not responding and 2. as a way to document that she "did nothing wrong". I told her that people don't respond well to her style and she got angry and said "why should I change the way I am just because people are lazy to respond?". That sums it up in a nutshell. Her mentality is that she is always right therefore, she should not have to change to adjust to other people. I told her that in the end, I felt it was inefficient since things she requested very often just ended up not getting done. She said "oh well, at least I have email proof that I made the request." This is a person who lives in a box. Thanks for your input though.
@sandelion23 - Regarding B., I've run into quite a few people who subscribe to the same school of thought she did.
When I said help her, you replied that you tried to talk to her. At least you tried to reason with her.